I went to the aquarium today and I met a narwhal for the first time in my life (I "forgot" to take pictures, so don't expect any). I was surprised when I realized that this narwhal, didn't kill my parents, and this....
BLEW
MY
MIND
So I dedicate this blog to my main man,
Spencer the talking narwhal.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Top 4: FAVORITE MISCONCEPTIONS!
I understand that once in a while, we all make mistakes and whatnot, but although we all make mistakes, some of them are so prevalent in society that they need listing, if you have made or continue to make these common blunders in your life, please, for the health of the young children's minds, stop.
#4: "Would Dr. Pepper be okay?"
No, it wouldn't, I have no idea why when I asked for a root beer, that DR. FUCKING PEPPER would be a good substitute.
#3: "Y'lnow, if you spend all that time in the bathroom, hair'll start to grow on your hands"
Why is it that whenever a teenager spends a long time in the bathroom, people always assume we just spent three hours in the bathroom wanking. Okay, A, if someone has the stamina to spend three hours masturbating, they probably would have bigger guns than an Iranian arms dealer and B, if I were doing that, WHY DID I JUST WALK OUT OF THAT ROOM WITH THE CATCHER AND THE RYE?
#2: "My son/daughter is so kind, generous, charming, intelligent and talented!"
Maybe in your tiny, insignificant mind, your screaming little timebomb is a perfect example, but thats in your mind, which in general is pretty detached from what I like to call "the real world".
#1: "Can I play your WiiStation 360?"
I hate people.
#4: "Would Dr. Pepper be okay?"
No, it wouldn't, I have no idea why when I asked for a root beer, that DR. FUCKING PEPPER would be a good substitute.
#3: "Y'lnow, if you spend all that time in the bathroom, hair'll start to grow on your hands"
Why is it that whenever a teenager spends a long time in the bathroom, people always assume we just spent three hours in the bathroom wanking. Okay, A, if someone has the stamina to spend three hours masturbating, they probably would have bigger guns than an Iranian arms dealer and B, if I were doing that, WHY DID I JUST WALK OUT OF THAT ROOM WITH THE CATCHER AND THE RYE?
#2: "My son/daughter is so kind, generous, charming, intelligent and talented!"
Maybe in your tiny, insignificant mind, your screaming little timebomb is a perfect example, but thats in your mind, which in general is pretty detached from what I like to call "the real world".
#1: "Can I play your WiiStation 360?"
I hate people.
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