Pokemon of the Day 2

Today's Pokemon of the Day is a Pokemon that reminded me slightly of my dog. This Pokemon is of the Water type and it lives in icy places. Without further ado, the second Pokemon of the Day is Seel!

Why your wallet should be empty by the end of October

For most of you gamers out there, you think that 2010 is over gamewise. This is a sweeping generalization, but I know that to many, that this is true, mainly because until recently, I thought the exact same thing. If you happen to be bored out of your goddam mind after a summer of nothing save a few promising but eventually forgotten XBLA and PSN titles, read on, for all hope is not lost.

The Death Symphony #1

Layel Story :J (or, Simon Story (beta))

So me and Ollie and Rysmugen are making a Cave Story mod.

It's called Layel Story (or, Simon Story).

It's currently in beta (alpha omega). here's da link:

click here mang.

I also recommend you play the actual game (cave story) first because it's really good. And you'll actually understand some things in the game.

alota stuff isn't finished yet so tjgtjyjtjhtjyjgfjhl;

:J

A giant movie list: PART ONE

I've decided to compile a list of my 10 favorite movies, and honestly, I'm surprised I didn't earlier. These films are in no particular order and with a short description of what's great about them.

Pokemon of the Day 1

Yep. Starting today, there will be a Pokemon featured everyday. So, since this Pokemon is one of my favorites, here is the very first Pokemon of the day, the Fifth Generation Pokemon, Wargle.

Why Justin Bieber is stupid.

Thank you.

-Ryder

The Greatest Story of All Time

Once upon a time, there was a man named Jethro.

This is more of a post for the authors but WHATEVER

Only read forward if you're an AUTHOR or a giant prick.

Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band; why it's the best Beatles album.

Well, the first thing you should realize that is has a SHIT LOAD of variety.

I may or may not be sexy to a dangerous point

Am I perhaps the most delicious feast for the eyes there has ever been?

Awful post that was the best I could get for ya.

Welp,
I'm supposed to do this.
I'm Ryder. I'm in a band. With the rest of the authors on this blog.
Matt, Simon, Sonny and me.

What is the best way to go about reviewing things?

I'm thinking about reviewing a few video games and movies and wanted to know what you, the readers, preferred in your reviews.

The Wii is a good system.........

So the Wii is a pretty good console..........

Here's why:

Dragon Ball Z has really kickass music (sometimes)

I've been running through Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 3 (a name far too long for anyone's own good) recently, mainly because its one of maybe two games on my PS2 that don't look like digitized barf on my HDTV and it has AMAZING game music. Not nearly as good as say, Kingdom Hearts or Scott Pilgrim, but still, ridiculously good music.

HAPPY NOW?

To the one guy that asked for a redesign, I want you to know,
You're a real goddam pain in the ass, y'know that?
I spent approximately TWO HOURS looking for a color that looked good and still was readable, and then another half-hour realigning the archives so that you wouldn't have to arrow down for a million years to find them and the blog doesn't even look that much better! And ANOTHER thing, Ollie is evil and won't post. SORRY.

(Don't expect a picture on this post, just consider the goddam redesign a gift from me to you.)

A video/podcast may or may not be happening

I've been trying to arrange a series for quite a while and it may be coming together. At least Rysmugen has signed on to be a part of the series and a new author might come on as well.

Best regards, Sort've Irrelevant

You are all wonderful people!

All of you voted the blog a 9-10? And you appreciated my reference to Fallout 3?

I love you guys

:DD

Crabs

It's a little known fact that crabs are a creation of Satan. You see those crabs in that picture there? They're red! RED. Now, the red isn't the only thing that's evil about these CRABS. You see, they have pincers. And do you know what they do with those pincers?! I'm not really sure myself, but one thing's for sure, they hurt if they're around finger. And one last thing about these demonic creatures, they have holes that they live in! No one on this planet knows what they're doing in those EVIL holes, but it's most likely that they're plotting with Satan to take over the world. Don't forget that they're RED.

RED.

A lovely poem

My heart won't start quite until I see you again. 
Here beside me, there unriling, I can't see the difference. 
Half in the box, half outside, 
You spun me around and allowed me to the wild side. 
I can't shake that feeling of the velvet glove. 
Take away my healing and give it to you, step inside, love. 
The door unlocks though you threw away the key, 
I looked beyond what once was evil and told you, "you look lovely".
Love is lovely, us lovely two, 
I wouldn't know love if I didn't know you.

Five reasons why you suck if you didn't play Psychonauts

Recently, Double Fine Productions announced Costume Quest, an adventure-RPG coming to PSN and XBLA this halloween, and you know what? I'm honestly surprised that my favorite game studio is still around after the BOMB that Brutal Legend was. But Brutal Legend wasn't Double Fine's first flop, before Brutal Legend, there were the Psychonauts, psychically armed soldiers who can do shit with their minds, and you asshats let them die. 

#1: It's probably the best-written game ever (and that includes BioWare). 
Doctor Loboto: Little boy, I am sorry to say that you have a very serious mental problem. The trouble originates in this area here. The area that we in the medical profession like to refer to as... the brain! You see, son... it's just no good! I hate to be so blunt, but... you have the insanity... of a manatee!
Dogen: I know. People are always saying that. What do you think's wrong with my brain, doctor?
Doctor Loboto: How should I know, I'm a dentist. But here's what I do know: if a tooth is bad, you pull it!


I'm not really sure I have to say anything more about the quality of the writing, but the story fits quite well with this and is quite a mystery plot and each and every mind that you enter is atmospheric, intriguing and FUN to play through.
Also it sort've pioneered audio logs with slide shows that explains bits about the character who's mind you're in. And that's full of Kickassedness in and of itself.


#2: Its a platformer that isn't Mario. 

We all love you Mario, but there has to be room for ONE other platformer, right?

Selling a product in this genre that doesn't have a certain italian plumber is definitely a hard sell to the general public, and as much as you don't want to admit it, it's also a hard sell to you.
Most of us gave up hope on the platforming genre right after Super Mario 64, which I'm sure a great few of you agree to be the greatest platformer of all time. The question I have, is why? Is it because Sonic has slunk into a depression? Maybe you think it's because platformers are archaic.
But I beg you to believe me, Psychonauts ISN'T archaic, it's rejuvenated by a lack of giant mutant turtles and a stolen princess, it's made immeasurably better by the fact that you're playing as a main character that you actually like, not just some overweight italian fuck-up who eats mushrooms in his spare time. Not only is it not archaic, it's in fact the most modern platformer out there. And that even beats littleBIGPlanet.

#3: Theres a LOT to do. 
Collecting Figments, completing scavenger hunts, digging for arrowheads, clearing mental cobwebs, exploring the campgrounds, creating and finding PSI challenge markers, finding all of the hidden mental slideshows, collecting lost camper's brains and reaching Rank 100 are just the beginning of everything you can do. Everything is a blast to do and most of them are cleverly hidden and require actual thought to find, and all that adds up to a HUGE game that lasts around twenty-five hours.

#4:  Tim Schafer really deserved to have a hit. 
If you didn't know, Tim Schafer was one of the principal writers of the Monkey Island games, and if you've ever played The Secret of Monkey Island, you'd understand why I'm RAVING over the writing in Psychonauts. Tim Schafer and the other fine folks at Double Fine have yet to have a hit game, and you know what? I think they deserve it more than anyone out there. Double Fine? If you're reading, you're brilliant.

This guy is awesome

#5: The characters are all likable and deeper than you'd think. 

This is Linda, she's a hulking,giant lungfish from the bottom of lake oblongata,
the inside of her mind is a tiny metropolis thats filled with tiny versions of
herself. Also she has a romantic history with a talking  frog named Mr. Pokeylopes.

And Linda is only the beginning. There ends up being around a dozen minds you enter, and almost all of them have hidden areas where the specific character has a hidden or repressed memory that you have to help them deal with, and by the end of the game, you'll have fought all of their demons, lived their nightmares and made you and them stronger from it. I'd try to give you some sort of game that gave you a similar experience, but that's just it, theres absolutely nothing else like Psychonauts out there, and thats why you suck for not playing it.

Why The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is overrated.

Yes. You can hate me (Ollie) all you want, but I think that Ocarina of Time is overrated. Here are some reasons why. :J

Bad Graphics:
Yeah, the graphics are bland and tiring to look at, yet somehow, everyone, even today, seem to say these are near perfect graphics. See that picture above? That's how bad they are! :J

Worse Controls Than Others:

This is another thing that people seem to overrate. The controls are reliable to an extent, but they aren't nearly as great as the ones before and after it (Especially Wind Waker). And again, these controls are good, but arguably the worst in the series.

NAVI:

Okay, this isn't really a part that is overrated, but still bad. Navi, the little flying fairy that accompanies you, is extremely annoying. And this is sadly one of the only parts that receives the most critisism (Other than the Water Temple >:l).

Story:

Now, I've heard people say that OTHER Zeldas have stories that are unoriginal. But this one everyone seems to love! This is actually the typical Zelda story as you would expect it. It's that whole thing where a princess gets kidnapped by the main antagonist. This is the one most people would expect. So, basically, this story is overrated.

I can't think of anything else, but there is most likely more. So, yeah, this game is overrated.

(Wind Waker is best)

Ollie is here!

Ollie is the new author I was talking about earlier, he's going to do some really cool stuff for us, including a pretty cool article on The Legend of Zelda (IT'LL BE KICKASS), I hope y'all enjoy his writing.

A notice for the fans,

I NEED A NEW AUTHOR! 
To anyone interested, just IM me. There are a few rules to posting that I'll explain to the winner.
Also I love you all!

Happy We Hate Seagulls Day!

In honor of those killed on September 11th, please shoot a seagull!*

*don't actually shoot any of these sorry evil bastards.
We could get sued, so, Shoot. Wink. Seagulls.

Under the rainbow

Deathly shadows, raining pale, when justice don't and won't prevail. Stealing business, losing cash, fade of interest, bernie mac. Left field antics, to and fro, petty semantics, shining glow.
And this I know took me over and beyond the rainbow. 

Happiness, disquiet love, readiness and treasure troves. Desert valleys, oasis hills, sold rotten teeth to pay the bills. Distrustfulness, undying love, one little kiss to rise above.
And this I know took me over and beyond the rainbow.

Do not under any circumstances perform any of the acts described below

Attempt to assassinate the king of a small village.
Sing praise to the Egyptian sun ghost or Space Ghost.
Marry an axe murderer.
Mispronounce any words found in the Necronomicon.
Trust anyone with the last name "Morgan".
Twist the Windex bottle caps halfway and then squirt them.
Name your first-born son Bickford Schmeckler.
Perform a spot-on impression of Sean Connery on live television while speaking to someone with the same first name as you.
Trust that walrus!

Trust me, bad things have happened to good people. 

The Axis of Satan

As you can tell from our many posts, we have a certain few grudges against certain.... groups.
These groups have become our enemies in highly varying ways, from killing a certain reporter's parents to stealing garbage and even causing 9/11.

"Seagulls were spotted right after the plane crashed. They were laughing and flapping those evil wings." ~ Rysmugen

In and around the blog, we've begun to refer to them as "The Axis of Satan", a name that inspires fear in the hearts of children and magicians everywhere, a name that strikes chaos into the heart of all the great cities and also New Jersey.

But never fear them, for they aren't even the worst of our nightmares, remember, there is always the walruses.

Raccoons stole my garbage

DEADBEAT BASTARDS!

 I understand that garbage is, in fact, garbage, but many times, I throw away such devices that ought not be thrown away, in violent clusterfucks my therapist likes to call "tantrums", and one such of these items was my iPad (mainly usable only as a serving plate) that ran me $500.
But then those damn raccoons stole it and probably took it to their evil little raccoon lairs and eat it.

Don't trust Raccoons, their little masks around their eyes are to protect their identities while they swindle you out of a good serving plate.