Not Alright

"Okay Jonathan, do you remember the plan?"

"What plan?"

"You don't remember what we're doing tonight?"

"I thought we were going to have a pleasent evening eating at this rather nice restaurant."

"Why would we do that?"

"I don't know, maybe because we're engaged?"

"You know, sometimes I forget why I accepted your offer..."

"Well, maybe I'll just have to show you."

"So you remember the plan?"

"How could I forget, you must've gone over it a hundred times in the car"

Jonathan wasted very little time and stepped off of his seat and unloaded his relatively small gun. His accomplice stepped onto the table and smirked in such a way that some people may recognise as body language for the sentence "Theres the man I love!". Jonathan handed the woman the tiny, unintimidating gun to the woman, who, as it happens, looked signifigantly more intimidating with the gun than Jonathan did. Jonathan, who previously had radiated confidence in the conversation before, shot a glance of fear at the woman. The woman leaned in toward Jonathan and whispered

"Everything is gonna be alright, Jonathan."

"I love you, Lucy."

The pair kissed briefly but then realised that at that point, they were standing on a table in a crowded restaurant kissing whilst there was work to be done. Jonathan then bent down to reach his seat and lifted up what appeared to have been a frilly and stylish handbag at one point, but was now reduced to a tattered rag that would barely suit carrying a young man's old discarded socks. Lucy reached her right hand into the bag and unveiled a shiny and rather petit handgun that nicely matched the obviously unintimidating pistol to her right.

That Lucy, always into fashion.

Jonathan reached into the small bag and wrestled with a rusty silver handle for a moment.

"It's stuck."

"I TOLD you we needed a new bag if you were going to carry around that rusty old sword."

"Well we were broke when you said that and now, at the time when I need the damn thing, to GET cash to buy a bigger bag, its STUCK."

"You know what? Just use your old knife."

"For the last time, its a DAGGER."

"Well, why don't you use your DAGGER?"

"I don't WANNA."

"Then use this!"

Lucy violently threw the less shiny pistol at Jonathan, who was forced to duck to avoid a rather intimidating headache from what was usually considered a rather unintimidating handgun. It was at this point that the patrons of the restaurant began to watch the couple's antics, which if you were unable to tell by now, were quite loud and what some would designate as "vaguely humorous", although Lucy would probably be angered if they were designated as such.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"BEING AN IDIOT, THATS WHAT!"

"SHOULDN'T WE BE DOING SOME SORT OF ROBBERY RIGHT NOW?"

"WELL WE WOULD BE IF YOU HADN'T BROUGHT THAT DAMNED SWORD!"

"WHAT DID MY SWORD EVER DO TO YOU!?"

"JUST GET ON WITH IT!"

"FINE! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I apologize for Lucy and I's vulgarity and I hope we can put that behind us and perform this robbery in as civil a way as possible."

After saying this in an attempt to calm the patrons of what he thought would be a distraught and angered restaurant, those poor people began to laugh.

"Stop!"

"You'll make her angry!"

"SHE'S LIKE THE GODDAM INCREDIBLE HULK! YOU WILL NOT LIKE HER WHEN SHE IS ANGRY!"

Jonathan's pleas were drowned in a sea of lousy laughter. Lucy balled her hands into fists and fumed with what Jonathan believed to be anger. Lucy aimed her shiny gun that despite it's small size, packed a punch, at the glass skylight of the restaurant and pulled the trigger in a very decisive decision to cause chaos. The skylight shattered and bits and pieces of the glass fell on a married lecherous old man who was eating his dinner with a young woman whom he was not in love with and was probably either his mistress or his trophy wife. Either way, he sort've had it coming to him.

"YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?"